I am not even going to dignify this with a caption
Here are a few of the things that go through my head when I spot a spot in the mirror:
1. Gah - gah - gah! I have regressed to pubescent acnedom, but now with the added joy of wrinkles.*Now you may think I am exaggerating for effect. The reality is, I am not. For an allegedly intelligent woman, there is a remarkably large amount of silliness in my train of thought, but I have a sneaking feeling that I'm not alone in this. So I thought I would come up with a few alternative mantras to help me feel marginally better (and, just maybe, you too, dear reader):
2. My arch-enemy, the evil erumpent pimple, has the power to undo all attempts at beautification through hair, clothes or make up, rendering me abhorrent to the human eye.
3. Those few golden years of half-decent skin were but a fleeting window in a life of unmitigated hideousness.
4. I must henceforth resign myself to a half life of despair, sans friends, admirers or social interaction of any kind.
5. Somebody shoot me now.
1. Perfection is an unattainable fantasy: everyone lacks confidence in their appearance sometimes - even Angelina Jolie.** Why do you think A-listers have all that surgery?This post was inspired by The Glamourous Grad Student, who writes with particular honesty about body confidence today. If you've ever felt the urge to take the battery out of the doorbell because you just can't face another human being (I can't be the only one... can I?), I recommend her post.
2. You can have half-decent skin AND the odd spot. It is allowed.
3. This time next week the spotules will have vanished. You will still be alive.
4. Staying in and brooding only makes you feel worse. Step away from the mirror and go out dancing. At the very least it will distract you.
5. If your 90-year-old self could pay you a visit from the future, she would say: 'You think you're hideous now? Hell's teeth girl! When will you thirtysomething women realise that you are in your prime! Now pour me another gin.' (Because that is what I will be like when I'm 90, obvs).
Finally, I could not post today without including a link to the DEC Haiti appeal.
* India Knight calls this the 'teenage granny' look.
** My gold standard for beauty.