Thursday, 15 July 2010


I have had two lovely weeks in a gorgeous villa in the Tuscan hills with thirteen members of my family (I know. Insania. Is a miracle no one has been murdered. Yet). I have been seeing Etruscan ruins and writing my novel, as well as lazing in/by the pool working on my tan. Then on Saturday I’m off to Florence for four days of debauchery cultural improvement with Madame La Moue.

Anyway, more importantly, newsflash: NR is coming out to Italy. I KNOW. Less than a month in and he is crossing the seas to see me (with a little help from British Airways). Tip to all you men out there: girls love this stuff - the grand romantic gesture and all that. Or maybe it’s just me. Anyway, we are having a week in Florence after MLM has gone home. Did I mention I LOVE MY LIFE?

On the make up front, I have continued to go bare-faced and Catriona, my gorgeous 20-year-old cousin has joined me in my experiment. We have now reached the following further conclusions:

A) Going au naturel does NOT make your skin any better - we have both broken out, and although this could just be the badness coming out, je suspect que non.

B) It is much easier to go au naturel is when everyone around you is doing the same. There have been seven women aged from 20 to 84 in this house over the last fortnight, none wearing any make up to speak of, and my eye has now adjusted to the point where I can look upon the natural human visage without an audible gasp of horror.

I have also been experimenting with reintroducing cosmetics one by one when going out for the evening and rank them in the following order:

1. Concealer: used under eyes and to cover spots/uneven skin tone, this has a greater effect than any other single item of make up.

2. Powder: to counteract shininess. This is more noticeable in a hot climate, so maybe not quite so important during a British winter, say.

3. Blusher: really does make a vast difference to the naturally cadaverous complexion. I once saw Bobbi Brown on Oprah and have never forgotten the advice she gave when asked what single item of make up was the most essential. She said for brunettes, blusher; for blondes, mascara. Which brings me to...

4. Mascara: I haven’t been wearing it at all here and have come to the conclusion that if your eyelashes are naturally dark or dyed it is quite easy to live without.

5. Eyeliner: worn underneath top lashes for a natural look; smudged around outer lashes for sultry, come-to-bed eyes. Entirely inessential. I haven’t worn it at all here.

That is all I had brought with me anyway. Oh, and bright red lipstick, which, worn with a bare face and sunglasses is a ten-second route to instant glamour. Bourjois do the best budget ones.

Whether I can carry on with the new regime in Florence is another matter, not least because Italian women all seem to be super-high-maintenance. Actually, I already know the answer to that question: with MLM I can just about cope - she has already seen me at my most hideous anyway. With NR, not so much. There is only so much I can inflict on the poor man and to fly across Europe only to be greeted by the unmitigated Cockatrice visage would just be too cruel...


  1. Whenever I come home to bangladesh, I only use the bare essentials of make-up. For me, that's concealer, blush, and eyeliner (for South Asian women, eyeliner is as essential as mascara is to those with light skin and light hair) :)

    Leia's Delights

  2. I intend to be fully made up at all times in Florence. Thick heavy powdery foundation, powder, bronzer, blusher, highlighter, mascara, lipstick/gloss. I can complete with the Florentine glamour pussies. (I imagine actually this will all slide off in the heat and I will look like a big, pink, blonde, sweaty English women with too much make up sliding off her face.)

  3. Agree with Leia, I'm South Asian as well and eyeliner is a must! Haha. But hear, hear to concealer!