I know. It's a BIKE. Trust me, no one is more surprised.
To my eternal shame, I managed to fail my cycling proficiency test aged 10. Ever since, the thought of balancing on two wheels while tonnes of motorised metal hurtle within inches of my unprotected body has filled me with terror. Once, paralysed with fear, I even lost the ability to brake and rode straight into the back of a stationary car.*
However, if anything could persuade me to get back in the saddle, it is the Electra Amsterdam, with graphics by classic mid-century designer Alexander Girard:
Quite apart from the sheer barefaced gorgeousness, Electra bikes let you put your feet flat on the ground, rather than tippy-toesing down from the saddle and toppling gracelessly under the nearest truck. Sadly, they are also over £600. At my present income-rate, this means that it will be at least another 20 years before I am ready to retake that test...
*Mrs Pickett, you may remember this.